It’s Coming


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Hey Everyone!

Oh, I couldn’t wait to get back in front of this camera to share what’s been going on in my life since last Sunday. And what a response! I think it was like a couple dozen of you had reached out commenting in some way or other on my vlog. Some said to be a little cautious of the Charismatic or Pentecostal Catholics versus others who were like, “Oh my gosh, how does it feel? You’re in God’s arms and isn’t it wonderful? Congratulations!” And then the others were questions like, “Well, what is that? What was the feeling? What happened, etc?”

I’m still feeling my body resting in God and this week and I couldn’t wait to get to Mass! I couldn’t wait to get to Adoration! I have a lot of things going on this week that I’m trying to decipher, discern, figure out and I need God! It’s funny, I am almost jumping into adoration, so excited to get in there because I’m feeling God working in me like I did when I rested in the spirit this weekend.

When in Adoration this week it was like I was melting into the pew as if I didn’t have a body practically. I could barely move and my head is like a balloon on a string just kinda floating around up here. It’s the craziest thing ever. But it’s lovely. It’s lovely. I wish I knew what this healing service thing was about before I actually went and did it because I would have stayed on the floor and not tried to get up and fight what this magical and beautiful feeling was, which is basically the holy spirit healing your sins … my sins.

I had a lot of things going on over these past three weeks that I was struggling with and I came out of this weekend and through this week even more zealous for my faith and not just the faith, but how I live my life.

I’ll share something with you. I went to Shalom World TV. We’re talking about me being a TV show host, so pray for that. I’m discerning for sure. And these people at Shalom World are fabulous and what a bunch of prayer filled individuals. So, we all go into this little Chapel. We’re in there for about an hour and this man next to me started saying that he had been meditating on John, the disciple Jesus loved and him putting his head on his chest and being close to his body. I thought, man, that’s it! Being close to Jesus’s body, the Eucharist in Mass through receiving Him in Holy Communion and also in Adoration and it just hit me that I need Him every day. Not only that, but I need to surrender myself to Him every day so that He can clearly work in me. I FEEL He’s working in me!

So I’m going to go to the gospel because it’s sort of cutting to the point that I realized more than ever. It like cut me like a knife this weekend. I saw good. I physically and spiritually felt good. I absolutely can personally vouch for what I felt and I was not lightheaded. I did not have low blood sugar. I just ate dinner. There is no logical explanation other than God took over.

And then I also saw evil. Someone pretty much possessed on the floor a priest had to be called back from their ride home to help and that my friends, was a freaking wake up call. I can’t just continue to do silly, stupid things in a sinful way and then go to confession and say, “Okay, new new, clean slate and God, please help me not sin anymore because I want to do better.” But when you really have the grim facts of Heaven and Hell smack you in your face in a different way and you’re kind of like, “Yeah, no thanks. You can keep that sin. I’m out.” I now feel a little bit like “Sainthood, here I come!” I’ve always wanted to be holier, meaning denying me. That’s what holiness means. Denying yourself. So not doing every little thing that I want to do that is sinful behavior and realizing my sin impacts others.

The other day I was in confession and the priest made me realize that my sins don’t just affect me. They affect so many people. So while you’re selfishly doing whatever you think is only damaging you—think about the ramifications. Let’s take a take pornography for, for example. That’s a good one.

So, you watch pornography and you’re thinking, well, it’s only me. I’m in my closet, I’m doing my own stuff with myself. Nobody knows but me. However, what you’re doing, even if it’s free, is giving those companies “data” so they will make more revenue and put more pornography out there. You’re actually fostering the growth of pornography. I’ve never really thought about how your sins affect others beyond you.

I am going to read the Gospel from Sunday. I know we’re changing it up a bit, but this one was is to this exact point, which is Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil. Dang it, people, the world is coming to an end. How much longer are you going to dink around out there and not go to God and find some so salvation, some comfort, some love because it’s coming and I was going to come hard.

Gospel Mark 13:24-32

Jesus said to his disciples:
“In those days after that tribulation
the sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light,
and the stars will be falling from the sky,
and the powers in the heavens will be shaken.

“And then they will see ‘the Son of Man coming in the clouds’
with great power and glory,
and then he will send out the angels
and gather his elect from the four winds,
from the end of the earth to the end of the sky.

“Learn a lesson from the fig tree.
When its branch becomes tender and sprouts leaves,
you know that summer is near.
In the same way, when you see these things happening,
know that he is near, at the gates.
Amen, I say to you,
this generation will not pass away
until all these things have taken place.
Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will not pass away.

“But of that day or hour, no one knows,
neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

Jesus doesn’t even know when the end of the world is happening. The angels don’t know only The Father. So what happens if it comes tomorrow? What are you going to say to God about how you lived your life, what you did with the gifts that he gave you? Did you share love? Were you loving? Or were you all about what this culture says, which is an evil culture, quite frankly. Hoard your stuff, buy more, more and more and more and more. Me, me, me, me as much as you possibly can and ignored people and circumstances around you to see if there’s anyone in need?

I just have to say I am floored at what is happening to me and I love it. The transformation is palatable to me. It’s so emotional. I’m literally, if my eyes could do that sucking sound, I am sucking the tears back in them because I don’t want to lose it towards the end here. I just want to say Jesus is for real. I trust in Him. I live my entire life with Him. Now I am becoming
enamored and prayer is so necessary for me and being close to the body of Jesus. I’m telling you, I was meant to hear that from that man at Shalom World. I have not been able to get it out of my head since and cannot wait for Mass. If you can go daily, it’s phenomenal. Jesus is coming into you in the Eucharist. You’re not consuming him. He’s consuming you.

That’s the deal. Don’t forget confession and Adoration! Okay, so this week, just remember the grim reality that this world is coming to an end. There’s good and evil and you need help from God in order to turn away from some of those temptations and addictions and issues and problems you have in your life.

God is the only one who can save you and your soul. So why don’t you just say a quick prayer to ask Him to come into your life. I really hope this hits you this week and you think of good and evil, Heaven and Hell because I believe fully.

Alrighty. I love you all. I’ll keep you updated. Keep the comments coming—please put them in the comments of the vlog so everyone can comment! I think that’s the best place to have the comment streams. And in the meantime, have a blessed and inspired week. I love you all, until next time.

Kendra Von Esh

Kendra Von Esh is a Speaker, Faith Coach, and Author who has a passion to help others to deepen their relationship with God and the Catholic Faith.